Walking in the Rain
by broken strings
Summary: I'm missing you. I'm laughing... For you. I'm crying... For you. The only person I want to hug, is you. The only one I want to love... Is you. Collection of oneshots for him, featuring Sakura and Syaoran plus occasionally other characters.
1. Divided Love

I looked at the couple, holding hands. I looked down at my own hands, intertwined with each other. I felt the bitter liquid drip down my face, and suddenly I had all the reason in the world to cry.

I cried for my sorrow.

I cried for my heart.

I cried for my mind.

And I cried for all the pain I had inflicted on others.

…

It had been raining, the first day I met him. Maybe I should have listened to this, the circumstances which I had met him under, I think it was a forewarning of how we were to end, broken for all of time.

I had sat in my chair, dreaming. Wishing of another.

Was there someone in my heart at the time? Yes. There was Yamada Kosuke, the only man I had ever looked at for the five years of my life I had ever loved so strongly. I liked him as only a friend, then soon it became something more, something that I was afraid of, it was not something I could explain though.

It consumed me, it was contagious, it controlled me. Kosuke-kun… Do you know how much I feared myself after you? How I wondered whether I was honestly insane? How I cried, how I sobbed silently, how I screamed from the pain, the pressure, the dull throbbing of my useless heart.

I loved my mask. And now, I hate it. The mask which shrouds my face, my emotions, my sorrow. The one which projects at the same time, the one which screens a dimpled smile, my perfect teeth, the puffs of my eyes which scrunch when I smile. The one which displays happiness, the one which creates my emotions for me.

The mask, which made him fall him in love with me.

Li Syaoran… He was the sort of guy who was very quiet in class. He didn't talk much, and he didn't smile much. But he was the type of person who made you sit up, and pay notice when you did know him. His aura, it wasn't the type to overpower and force on others, it was a gentle hugging and encouragement to get to know him. He was different, but at the same time, he gave the appearance of just being another one in a crowd.

And he loved me. Kinomoto Sakura.

The girl, who under no circumstances, deserved him.

And I knew it, I knew it very well actually. He felt for me, the same I felt for Kosuke-kun.

…

In many ways, I was very selfish. I loved the feeling, of being loved, of being surrounded by others, of feeling happy. It was pain and sadness which drove me further, it was euphoria which drugged me. It was dangerous, I know why so many of the wealthy are so selfish and greedy, why many of those who have money are so bitter and cruel to those around them.

If I had known Syoran-kun earlier, I probably would have fallen for him instead of Kosuke-kun. But I can't dwell on such things, I know that if I had fallen for Syaoran-kun, it might have been a reversed situation.

It's easier to wish and dream for the things you know you'll never get. Once you have something within your grasp, it always seems so much more trivial that it had been when you were wishing for it. All the effort you put into trying to reach your goal, it's easily forgotten once you have what you want.

Maybe that's also why the wealthy are bored. Because there is nothing that is not within grasp of their name.

It's so obvious I'm being selfish. It's so obvious that I just want some comfort, because the love of my father and brother isn't enough. Because I need someone to hold me like a lover, I need someone to hold me like they care about me too much to care.

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**A/N: Holy… Can I just say I think I'm starting to type fricken fobby English? ARGH. Not cool. This is the opening for my series of oneshots and short stories. I'm not sure if this is allowed -0-;; I'll update soon I promise. Please review to tell me what you think, any suggestions to improve are gladly welcomed and if you have an idea which you would like me to write up, please do tell me!**


	2. The Uncertain Love

**The Uncertain Love.**

_by .brokenstrings._

There's a glitter in my eyes, it's always there. It's a sparkle, a light which has taken hold of my soul. Because of you.

…

"Sakura-chan, are you okay?" Tomoyo asked me worriedly. I smiled at her lightly to reassure.

"Yes, I'm fine, I just feel… A bit dizzy. But I should be okay, don't worry about me."

She smiled a bit at this for some reason. "Are you sure? You've been spacing out a lot lately."

"No, I'll be okay, I'm not really sure why I'm like this at the moment but I guess it's just a spell. I'll get over it soon I know."

"Hm… Okay," Tomoyo was looking at me doubtfully, but she stayed silent.

I sighed to myself. It was very true that I had been daydreaming a lot lately. I had also been feeling odd, my head was light and although I hadn't been getting headaches, I felt uncomfortable, this was a new feeling for me.

"Sakura, are you alright?" A new voice floated towards me.

I looked up to see Li Syaoran hovering over me. "Yes, Li-san. I'm fine," I answered quietly, turning a slight red. I rubbed my cheeks and started coughing.

"Are you sure? Oh and you can call me Syaoran you know."

"It's nothing," I smiled at him to show the state of my health.

"If you're certain…"

I nodded emphatically. "Yes, yes, I'm quite sure."

It's a little awkward when I see him. His hair is getting longer, apparently he refuses to get it cut because he likes the way his hair is now and a hairdresser would just ruin the look. He never used to be quite so fashion forward, it actually makes me feel a little backward but I have Tomoyo-chan to compensate.

It's been a little while since I've started to have these feeling toward him. I noticed him first when I transferred into the school to be closer to Tomoyo-chan. He welcomed me to the class and offered to have lunch with me because Tomoyo-chan was away the day I started class. It was nice to have someone to talk to because I was scared that day, I'm grateful for his friendliness.

And then my heart started to beat harder and faster when I was around him. And then the question came. "Is this love?"

It was easy to love him and easier still to fall even deeper and harder for him than ever. My heart was calling that I loved him and I think, that glimmer of excitement in Tomoyo's eyes showed she knew it too. I think it was then that I started to get that uneasy feeling in my stomach, the one that no one understands until something happens.

…

A note fell onto my desk. "Do you like Li-san?" came the question, blunt, brief and written neatly.

I almost fell off my seat in shock but I caught the stern gaze of the teacher and I bowed in apology before straightening up. I looked around to try and find the one who had written the note, but I couldn't find them. Hoo… I scowled and bent back over to my maths book, glaring at the equations.

Another note hit my head and bounded to the ground before another hit my table in quick succession. This time it said, "Everyone knows, it's very obvious you know. But that's okay, because we all support you"

Was that supposed to be encouraging? More than anything I thought it was depressing that it was so obvious I liked Syaoran. But it was pretty good that he let me call him by his first name, he kept most people on last name basis. It was kind of scary to be honest, but I can understand why he would, his fanclub is really over the top.

I think I'm pretty silly that I didn't realize until recently that I liked Syaoran. But the feelings I'm feeling are very weird, they're so hard to understand, only someone else would be able to understand what I was feeling and even then, the only possible way they would be able to understand would be to become me. I've confused myself even in trying to find a way to untangle the mess inside my mind.

There were so many points of time where I hesitated. There were so many moments where I could have done something. I will change that, make up for all the time that I've lost. I'm going to make myself the number one in his heart.

I'll stay by his side, show him only happiness and smiles. In return he should be good to me and never falter, never leave me. Even if it's for a short time, I start to feel uncertain and unconfident.

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A.N. Hi New one-shot. This one is based on the main soundtrack of Goong, Saranginkayo, or Perhaps Love. It's such a wonderful song and hopefully you enjoyed the one-shot just as much. I'll keep on writing, but please give me feedback, I'd love to know what you think of these stories.

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♥ jen :)


	3. Black Cherries

**Black Cherries.  
**_.brokenstrings._

As my teeth sunk in softly, I winced at the bittersweet taste which flooded my senses and overloaded my mouth with a sudden longing.

I closed my eyes and waited as the tears dripped out of the corners of my eyes. A sigh escaped from my mouth and I rubbed my eyes painfully and let the breath flow out from my lips slowly.

It had been summer. It was warm, as summer should be, but it was cool enough for us to lie on the top of the roof comfortably without burning. There was a bowl between us, we kept it stocked well with fruit, sometimes peeled mangoes, sometimes it would be ripe, green grapes. Other times, it would be large, bold red apples but I think the fruit I remember best would be the dark, glossy black cherries.

We spent a month on that roof.

We spent a month talking.

We spend a month dreaming, hoping, wishing…

Loving.

"Sakura-chan?" I remember his murmur, his voice so soft and reassuring, caressing my mind to a gentle lull.

I breathed softly and quietly. "Yes Syaoran-kun?"

"Halloween is coming up you know."

"Mhmm. I think so. I can't wait for the lollies."

I heard his liquid, deep laugh… So vivid. "You're holding out for the lollies? What about the witches with warts and those vampires coming to suck your blood and obviously, the ghosts with their spindly, chilling hands?

At those words I shrieked and almost fell off the roof. Syaoran caught me in time.

"I promise that I'll always be there to catch you when you fall."

_There's a beating so rapid._

_There's a cry so piercing._

_In my heart I can feel the fire spreading._

_A dull throbbing tingles._

_The sweet sensation is overwhelming._

_Insatiable hunger._

He promised me. He promised me the world, the sky, everything.

And then he left.

And my world shattered, like the broken promise.

_Even if I never see you again, just want you to know how much I love you. I adore you with all my heart but it's easy to let go when you have so many things and people pulling you. Never forget me, I'll never forget you. My star, my blossom._

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A.N. Sorry... Not only is this short, but it's also kind of...Weird and weak especially at the end. Review please (:


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